Biscuits by Emma Furniss-Roe (by Charlotte Furniss-Roe)

She thought I wouldn’t retaliate to the Christ poem. But oh, she was wrong. While mini me was contemplating the nature of Jesus Christ, love, Christmas and other clearly sublime issues, Emma was wrestling with her own young and developing thoughts. “But what could be more important than Jesus, especially for a girl who is now confirmed?” I hear you ask.

Well. The answer, of course, is biscuits.

For her, guys. Don’t say no.

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I think what I like best is the careful consideration of the different types of biscuits – a Buzzfeed author in the making, clearly.

The burning question : Why are biscuits after a run not fun?

We shall never know.

Questions for Charlotte from Emma

(On a side note, I am not going to address the picture of a naked cartoon girl on a llama because I do not want to, nor, frankly, do I know how to.)

What’s your favourite pokémon? (Sloppy Emma. I’m disappointed)

Eevee. Because if you have different stones you can turn it into lots of different ones. That is a pokémon with potential. Also much fluffy. so cuteness.

Oh also Lickitung, I remember well the Pokémon Stadium game on Gamecube where you had to run around eating as much sushi as possible as a Lickitung with absurd sounds and crazy running.

Honourable mentions: Snorlax. For obvious reasons. and Blastoise – we would be nearly the same size. close your eyes and think about that.

Who is your favourite cartoon character and why?

Hmm many to choose from.

Cosmo from Fairly OddParents is hilarious:
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THE FEAR

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But Velma from Scooby Doo is definitely up there. I sympathise with her occasional myopic helplessness.

Which celebrity do you think you are most like?

ummm… I have absolutely no idea. So maybe (only) in that way Greta Garbo or Patrick Star, who literally lives under a rock. I did an online test that said my face was most like Gwen Stefani though, take from that what you will.

Unknown

like looking in a mirror

 

Have you ever had an epiphany?

Every year.

Okay sorry, here we go:

BRUCE WILLIS WAS DEAD THE WHOLE TIME

IT WAS HERMIONE THAT LIKED RON THE WHOLE TIME  

and now apparently we’re eating biscuits upside down?!

My understanding of a situation was fundamentally altered and deepened in each case so yes, they do count.

 

Who is your idol? (apart from me obviously..)

Baal. or maybe Stephen Fry.

 

Do you believe in any type of God?

See above.

But  Unknown-1ly

I don’t know. no one wants to believe they’re so insignificant that the whole world could happen by chance, and the whole song about being one thread in a tapestry from The Prince of Egypt is eminently likeable, but on the whole, no. Something must have happened in the development of life on earth that led to the beginning of life and the inception of consciousness but I don’t know what. Call it God if you must.

 

Describe yourself in 3 words (not a question but hey..)

 Sarcastic travelminded (I have  decided that’s a word) Londoner

 

What do you think happens when we die?

When I was little I was told that death was a door – I don’t know why but I imagined an old man stooping to get through a tiny door in a wall. This shut me up for about a minute but then what’s on the other side? I can’t tell. All I know is that on this side of the door you live on in what you leave behind, materially as well as in the minds of others.

 

P.S. check out my background

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WILL WE EVER BE THAT HAPPY